


in memoriam

by Laucius



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Drabble, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, No Dialogue, Not Beta Read, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laucius/pseuds/Laucius
Summary: it's a little unclear, but in a way, hiiro is also grieving.
Relationships: Kagami Hiiro/Momose Saki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	in memoriam

**Author's Note:**

> uhh i wrote this in one go and took creative liberty so some stuff might be ooc
> 
> kinda character study-ish? Idk
> 
> not beta'd we die like bugsters

⠀⠀perhaps, in a way, it would have been easier for him to get past his grief over saki had it not been for her way of passing.

⠀⠀oh, he watched her vanish right in front of his eyes, he did. when the bugster virus took over her, when she breathed her last words, her very last smile he thought he would ever see on her face again— he'd witnessed it all with his very own two eyes. it wasn't like he never did see her die. he doesn't quite have that privilege, to be able to turn a blind eye to that particular truth, even if he did end up turning a blind eye to many others.

⠀⠀but when the illness took her life, it took with her everything that was left of her. he remembers how she started to disintegrate, vanishing in midair in the form of impossible pixels. it almost feels comical if it weren't for how horribly real that it felt like.

⠀⠀there is no body left to bury, no grave to mourn over. 

⠀⠀technically, they did make a grave for her, though. her family did. he's never visited it by himself before.

⠀⠀there's a memorial for her in both the kagami and the momose home, too. his father insisted on making one. though it's nothing as grandiose as what the momose family had in their home, it's apparently enough to make his father happy. it's almost laughable how humble and strangely cozy the little memorial looks like amidst the modern decor of the kagami family home, all pristine white and with barely even any personalization within their living space. it looks incredibly out of place there, hah.

⠀⠀they make do with those memorials to replace the distinct and glaring lack of her corpse. something that should exist post-mortem, but doesn't now. maybe if there had been one, he would have felt more closure. but instead, some unknown part of him just feels... empty. 

⠀⠀( _the deafening silence of it is forcefully put into a box and caged away for however long he needs it to keep locked._ )

⠀⠀maybe that's why haima chose to keep that memorial despite its bizarre existence in their house. maybe his father felt that way too.

⠀⠀... maybe that's why, years later, after his return from the US to manage the Cyber Rescue Center, after he gets settled in his new (boring, boring) modern apartment, he frames an old photo of saki and puts several flowers right next to it, and makes it his memorial of her.

⠀⠀it's five am. he needs to start getting ready to leave soon, dan masamune is not very generous with his time. but for the first time in his life, he's only sitting at the edge of his bed, sheets unmade, thumb absently rubbing against the cold surface of his taddle legacy gashat. 

⠀⠀saki's portrait looks back at him from his bedside table, a blinding smile on her face. the flowers he left next to it are already starting to wilt. he hasn't had the time to stop by the flower shop to change them with fresh ones yet.

⠀⠀maybe after this he can finally offer the flowers to her in person instead.


End file.
